Expressing Gratitude When You Don’t Know How

Expressing Gratitude When You Don’t Know How

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Many of us owe major debts of gratitude to various family members, friends, and co-workers. However, many also struggle to find the right words to express their feelings of appreciation. How can people who haven’t learned to say thank you mind their Ps and Qs better as adults?

Everyone needs to know they have value and wants their kind deeds to be recognized, even if they brush off the words with a casual “no problem.” Growing lax in showing appreciation, though, causes frictions in personal relationships and makes establishing rapport with colleagues difficult. Here are six ways to say thank you sincerely, even if you don’t use those exact words.

1. Learn Different Ways to Say Thank You Without Sounding Stiff

The easiest way to say thank you is through words, but how to find the right ones? Fortunately, the magic of the English language makes expressing gratitude possible in countless ways.

  1. Thank you very much. This is short, sweet and to the point and leaves little room for misinterpretation — unless your voice is dripping with sarcasm.
  2. You’re the man (or woman). This casual thank you proves handy when someone does you a solid, like picking up your coffee tab or cleaning up a spill.
  3. I appreciate your assistance/guidance/advice. A bit more formal, this phrase comes in handy in the office when a co-worker or supervisor explains a new or difficult process.
  4. Thank you for _____. This phrase allows you to fill in the blank with the specific act you’re grateful for. It’s appropriate for everything from thanking acquaintances for positive references to thanking a child for cleaning their room.
  5. How can I pay you back? You don’t have to clutch your pearls, swoon and moan, “oh, how can I ever repay you,” like a damsel in distress. However, offering to return a favor marks the perfect way to thank someone without saying the actual words. They’ll know they can count on you when tables turn and they’re in a pinch.

Whatever way you choose to express your gratitude, make sure you say the words sincerely. Make eye contact, smile and be sure your tone radiates warmth.

2. Offer a Token of Gratitude

Who doesn’t like getting presents? In many instances, giving the person you want to thank a small token of affection is appropriate. Exercise caution with gifts in the workplace, as co-workers may misinterpret such acts. Among family members and friends, especially among the littles, presenting a coveted toy or a tasty treat shows you care.

3. Choose Meaningful Workplace Rewards

When recognizing staff who have gone above and beyond, consider their mindset before dragging them up to give a speech to the assembled crew. Yes, most employees respond well to such accolades, but others feel uncomfortable, like they’re “that kid” who destroys the grading curve on a tough exam.

Talk to employees in private about bumping up their salary, giving them a bonus or promoting them. Their new job title will show their rank, but a subtle change in business cards creates less stress than a big boardroom announcement for some.

4. Spend Some Quality Time Together

When expressing gratitude to a lover or a family member, the best way to show you care is by spending some quality time. Doing so does not need to cost a lot of money. Taking the kiddos on a trip to the park to toss around a football is free and going out for ice cream is an inexpensive luxury.

Nowadays, families scatter all over the globe when they reach adulthood, and planning a reunion is a great way to show those who share your blood you care. Getting the family together for a group portrait for the holidays or no reason at all delights grandparents with a picture they’re proud to show off.

5. Be Present When They Need You

Expressing gratitude in word and deed makes the folks in your life feel appreciated, but if you run for the hills when they need you, they’ll be less likely to help out next time. Turnabout is fair play, so while you may not relish the thought of helping your bestie haul her couch up to her new third-floor apartment, you owe her that much if she’s helped schlep your stuff.

Those experiencing difficulties such as divorce or a loss of a loved one often need a listening ear. Even if you don’t know the person well — for example, if they are a co-worker — simply letting them know you’re willing to help pick up their slack so they can grieve is appreciated.

Expressing Gratitude Strengthens Relationships

Everyone craves recognition when they do a kind deed or help another grow. Whether the person to whom you owe a debt of gratitude is a co-worker, friend or family member, practice these tips to show them you appreciate all they do.

Jennifer Landis Profile PictureJennifer Landis is a mom, wife, writer, and blogger. She enjoys yoga, tacos, and drinking all of the tea she can find. Follow her on Twitter @JenniferELandis and check out her blog, Mindfulness Mama, where she shares her expertise in parenting, healthy living, and food!